As my 6-year-old would say: "What the heck?!"
I've always been clumsy. Ever since I was a kid, I've always had bruises somewhere on my body, many for which I couldn't necessarily identify the cause.
For the past year or two (or maybe the full four since I got sick), it seems like the number of fall I take has been far higher than I would expect. And I never quite know why I've fallen. There's rarely something I can point to like a slippery wet floor or a toy I tripped over, although I have those falls too.
It's been a hard few weeks with an overwhelming number of obligations, most related to the end of the school year. (For the last three weeks of school, parents were expected to be present at least one day per week for "special" events in the classroom. How do people manage this every year??)
And the last day of school, which was Friday, was particularly challenging, but I survived it. Saturday was tougher with a double commitment of a friend's house warming party and the opening ceremony for the regional championship for figure (art) roller skating. I was exhausted and feeling pretty zombie like, but coping despite the pain and fatigue.
That is, until the floor jumped up and attacked me ... at least that's the only way I can describe it. One minute I was walking toward a water fountain to refill my water bottle, and the next I'm lying face down on the floor, clutching my injured elbow and hoping that I didn't tear a hole in my brand-new cardigan. (I didn't.)
Seriously, I was just walking and minding my own business, and I didn't even feel like I lost my balance or tripped on something. And despite being in a roller rink, I was not in roller skates! :)
So I've got a seriously bruised elbow sporting a big lump, two bruised knees, a mild wrist sprain, some assorted aches and pains from the fall.
It's not a huge deal in most ways, and it's far from the first time I've fallen like this. But I think I have it slightly figured out, even if I don't think there's a real preventative solution to the problem.
See, I was tired. I'd pushed myself beyond where I should have, and pretended I was a normal, healthy mom who could attend all the events important to her kid. And I think, maybe, my other falls have been in similar straits, where I'm well beyond my comfort zone and on the brink of pushing myself into a flare. (Although in this case, I think I was already in a flare and pushing myself farther into one.)
If exhaustion = falling, then what? My internist, who I saw on Monday, told me, "When you're really tired like that, you shouldn't be walking. Now you know." But I'm not convinced that's particularly helpful, especially since many of my falls happen around the house. And it's not like I'm ever not tired.
I still don't understand what's causing me to fall. But at least I think I've found a pattern ... now I have to channel John Snow and figure out how to interpret that pattern and what to do about it. (See, there was a higher purpose to my reading Steven Johnson's book The Ghost Map about a cholera outbreak in the mid-19th century. Now I know who John Snow is! :)
9 months ago