Tuesday, August 16, 2011

But Some Things Never Change

So there I was feeling somewhat optimistic and making plans for the future -- a trip to Chicago, an Etsy store, who knows what else? -- and then the same thing happened that always seems to happen when I start feeling optimistic: 

I ran into a big brick wall that I never saw coming although, in hindsight, there were warning signs. I just ignored them, preferring to live in blissful ignorance. 

You see, apparently my body has decided that if I'm going to choose to ignore my fatigue and pain and "push through" it, it will simply multiply exponentially how much fatigue and pain I have.  

Somehow, I think I've taken that lesson several times over the past few years; it has a familiar feel to it, a definite sense of deja vu. 

So, after more than a week of essentially hibernating, I'm poking my head up online again and hoping I can find some semblance of balance again. 

And I'm a bit worried about that trip to Chicago ... 

Meanwhile, the hematologist has run a battery of blood tests on me to see if he can make sense of some "interesting" results on tests run by my neuromuscular neurologist, who out of the blue requested that I come see him again. My understanding was that I wasn't due until December, but his assistant has scheduled me for next week. And my ferritin levels have apparently petered down to just above the level that my hematologist wants to give me infusions to send it back up to healthy levels. (It's been about two years since the first round of infusions that I'd hoped would be a one-time experience, although it was a fairly painless experience, especially when compared to all the chemo patients I saw in the clinic.)

And I guess I'm back on the medical-mystery merry-go-round despite trying to jump off. Which means this blog won't be switching over to a crafty mama blog anytime soon. :)


Leslie said...

I meant to comment on your last post that I love the flower hair things you are making. I am also contemplating starting an Etsy shop for my scrap-booking, but am feeling a little uneasy about it. Would love to chat about it when you are feeling up to it.

deb aka murphthesurf said...

I wish you could jump off and take the rest of us with you :-) I am amazed that they can't seem to get a complete grip on what is going on with you after all these years and my heart just goes out to you. I have autoimmune issues but at least mine are known. You are so right though that we must listen to our bodies and unfortunately bend to their needs and not overdo or we pay and usually big time. Your daughter sounds lovely and I know my children have been one of my strengths that has gotten me through my illnesses these past 13 years. Please know there are people out there wishing you answers and solutions in your fight.