tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post4943565252389639613..comments2023-05-31T01:45:02.663-07:00Comments on Sick Momma: To Whine Or Not To Whine? That Is the QuestionAvivahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16411667763810131618noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-25857449318245066792009-08-30T18:51:47.143-07:002009-08-30T18:51:47.143-07:00Whoa. Aviva, I realize this post was from nearly a...Whoa. Aviva, I realize this post was from nearly a month ago, but reading that took the breath from my lungs. <br /><br />What a ...i dont even have words. ideas. how rude, how completely careless. how self centered of someone -- who has never met you, who doesn't have to read you -- to think that their opinion is so amazing, wonderful, and comes from on high that you should abide by their wishes. <br /><br />horrible and gross. <br /><br />sorry you had to get something so stupid.Miss Waxie aka A Comic Life, Indeedhttp://acomiclifeindeed.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-77605139822219969282009-08-09T00:13:29.278-07:002009-08-09T00:13:29.278-07:00My two cents: I never think it sounds like you are...My two cents: I never think it sounds like you are whining or complaining. To me your writing about your own health issues sounds like objective reporting. I've always admired that about your blog.Sherrilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06898319570225926653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-88693027668243459502009-08-08T19:10:51.049-07:002009-08-08T19:10:51.049-07:00I just want to say - thanks for blogging!!I just want to say - thanks for blogging!!Lisa Emrichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10862232056342347990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-60044548989446319542009-08-08T10:56:40.441-07:002009-08-08T10:56:40.441-07:00A little late in the game on this one (was out of ...A little late in the game on this one (was out of town) but, like many, sorry you had to receive such an unpleasant e-mail! <br /><br />The great thing about blogs is they can be whatever you want them to be--and if sharing your emotions and being honest rubs someone else the wrong way, he/she doesn't have to read! I can't understand the compulsion to e-mail someone and tell them that. <br /><br />Glad you responded with honesty and grace, Aviva!Lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10392908564921877962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-66119002972227903522009-08-08T09:55:33.946-07:002009-08-08T09:55:33.946-07:00My blog came to be for the same reasoning< i fo...My blog came to be for the same reasoning< i found myself giving emails about updates to do with health to friendsand family> (sry my computer is aparently on the fritz i am write now in caps lock to have lowercase but have no control over commas and such so > is a period and < is a comma)<br /><br />then i reolised not aways did all the people in those emails nessisarily want to know< so if they want to know they can read the blog if not they can not know or can ask me> and it is my place to rant about the things family or doctors always say to me> the useless things><br /><br />today i am in bed still< boyfriend left for work at Six am< and it is now almost one pm i did get up to eat earlyer but the pain is nagging and i am avoiding taking meds today since i know today will be a long day as we will be switching over to his afternoon shift> so today i stay in bed to cope with the pain and try to sleep><br /><br />we need our place to vent< though this week i was reminded our pains effect others who really care about us> my SO needed to vent about everything the other day< since unlike me he doesnt have others to relate to or talk to><br /><br />its tough>shell87https://www.blogger.com/profile/07105104761975598526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-79711951595968269092009-08-07T23:07:34.122-07:002009-08-07T23:07:34.122-07:00Aviva,
I am sorry that you received that message-...Aviva,<br /><br />I am sorry that you received that message--if I had gotten something similar, I know it would have hurt deeply even if it had no merit (which it didn't!). At the same time, I admire the grace with which you handled it--from your empathetic response to the present post discussing the purpose and result of both blogging and venting. <br /><br />Your blog has been really helpful to me in feeling like there are other people out there who get it. I actually appreciate that things aren't always sugar coated, that there are "whiney" posts about bad days, because the reality of chronic illness (perhaps especially undiagnosed) is that it can really suck. I think it's really important to acknowledge that and to vent somewhere.<br /><br />I too am more likely to vent on my blog than anywhere else. First, it simply helps me to write things out. Second, I feel less like a burden to people if I know they have a choice to read or not (without seeming as impolite as changing the subject in conversation). Finally I think other bloggers are going to be the people most likely to understand. Sometimes I wish I were one of those bloggers who has a broader reaching message or profound thought in every post, but that's not where I am at the moment. Maybe someday I'll get there! <br /><br />Anyway, thanks for blogging about your experiences and for this thoughtful and thought-provoking post!endoenvoguehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08246549715077136432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-19071046808350115082009-08-07T16:43:24.901-07:002009-08-07T16:43:24.901-07:00Aviva,
I love this post and deeply appreciate you...Aviva,<br /><br />I love this post and deeply appreciate your honesty. Afterall, we are a part of the mutual admiration society among other fellowships.<br /><br />I'm in shock about the comments from the pain center. I can't wrap my head around it. OMG!!<br /><br />I find it very curious that some people are intolerant of another person's truthful expression of emotions. I think this is why many people (including myself from time to time) find it challenging to find the right words to label what they are feeling. It's like we're all expected to report on the happy only or we're wrecking someone else's day. It just doesn't make sense. I joke with my husband that I'm dying to post an experimental facebook status such as "My husband is an ass". I believe there would be no comments simply because if it's not superficial, people don't know what to say and stay far far away.<br /><br />I am so grateful for your openness, support, and willingness to share yourself. I'm so glad to have you in my life. xoxoxoxoxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214600657427349928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-27182284393589939782009-08-07T08:23:29.416-07:002009-08-07T08:23:29.416-07:00Hi,
I'm just finding your blog today and I...Hi,<br /><br />I'm just finding your blog today and I'm so glad I did. You are so correct when you say that we need the support of others. I couldn't agree more. I find it very sad that someone would find the need to be so unkind to you during your time of need. It just makes me so sad. However, I think you handled it with grace and I'm glad that person decided to move on. <br /><br />I will most definitely be back to read more of your blog. I hope you have a 'good' weekend.<br /><br />Many Blessings,<br /><br />Teresa <><<br /><br />http://toomanyheartbeats.blogspot.com/Teresa @ ♥ Too Many Heartbeats ♥https://www.blogger.com/profile/06926075458122509648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-39987374653898519942009-08-06T23:45:58.816-07:002009-08-06T23:45:58.816-07:00Maybe it's because I'm a sick Mum as well,...Maybe it's because I'm a sick Mum as well, or maybe it's just the way i see things regardless, but in reading someone elses personal journey on their blog I would never see a day of talking about pain, a post about how hard things can be, or information about yet another medical test you are being put through as whining OR complaining. Even if I was to disagree with a blogger, I would not then feel the need to advertise that fact to the blogs author. I would simply stop reading and move on. I say good riddance as well, you are doing amazingly well and have no time for people like that. oxoCarlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07024610392324702135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-59464665187816378972009-08-06T22:27:06.529-07:002009-08-06T22:27:06.529-07:00Aviva,
As promised, here is part 2:
18) There...Aviva,<br /><br />As promised, here is part 2:<br /><br />18) There's nothing wrong with your world revolving around you and your family. <br /><br />Personally, I don't think that makes you selfish in the negative connotation kind of way. The word "selfish" sometimes gets a bad rap. There are certain things we should be "selfish" about... not in an uncaring way but in a way that says, "I have to put the needs of my family and myself first". It's appropriate to be looking out for yourself and your family. <br /><br />19) This next part cracked me up. I too write things and don't always know what they'll be until I am sitting at the monitor. <br /><br />For example, I sat down to write a post on dysautonomia figuring it might go long and need to be split in 2 parts. By the time I'd written it, it was long enough to warrant a 5 part series (after editing things out). <br /><br />20) I'm very sorry she lost her mother but that does not give her the right to insult you! <br /><br />Blaming you for the broken healthcare system really took the cake. <br /><br />What you happened to be blogging at about the time her mother passed on is hardly something you should be criticized for. What a bizarre thing to say. <br /><br />That "complain about every ache and pain" line is one that gets thrown at people with certain illnesses a lot. That's one of those lines that fibromyalgia patients like me are all to familiar with. <br /><br />The "I too have those days" line implies that she thinks she has a clue of what you are going through. (I have met people with this attitude)! <br /><br />The only person who really knows how you feel/what your pain is like is you! Your family and doctors might have some clue but some blog reader certainly can't compare her aches and pains to yours! It's just ludicrous. <br /><br />Labeling you a "complainer" is out of line. <br /><br />Speculating that "your doctors just cringe when they see you on their books" is completely out of control.(Clearly this is not about you. Maybe she's misdirecting her grief over her mother's death at you. That's just conjecture on my part). That part is just a blatant attack on you! <br /><br />Unless she attends doctor appointments with you, she clearly is not in a position to accuse you of wasting their time. What the heck?! <br /><br />The grand finale where she hangs the broken healthcare system around your neck like an albatross is just the clincher! Wow... She's very attacking!<br /><br />21) Your response to her email was classy & appropriate.<br /><br />22) If you lost her as a subscriber after she cruelly attacked you, I would not lose any sleep over it.<br /><br />~~<br /><br />Great post!! <br /><br />Jeanne<br /><br />P.S. I have seen this type of thing on other blogs where 1 reader made the blogger upset (or made a darn good attempt to) and the blogger went on to talk about it online. I think it's healthy that you got it out of your system. I wouldn't worry about it for another nanosecond. Remember, <i>it's your blog.</i> :)Jeannehttp://chronichealing.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-70224016505197528042009-08-06T22:22:20.801-07:002009-08-06T22:22:20.801-07:00Aviva,
Triple good riddance! Where to start? I th...Aviva,<br /><br />Triple good riddance! Where to start? I think I need list form for this blog comment:<br /><br />1) You shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone. This is your blog.<br /><br />2) You explained the purpose of your blog quite nicely, though!<br /><br />3) A blog is certainly a more efficient way of updating people than sending mass emails with updates. Good for you at making your blog work for your needs.<br /><br />4) That's great that you found Laurie's blog early on. She has a great blog.<br /><br />5) Venting can be very useful. Some people may classify it with terms that have a derogatory connotation... such as whining or complaining. All chronically ill patients need a way to blow off some steam. It's unhealthy to bottle things up.<br /><br />6) It is awesome that you are both giving and receiving support from others. That's the name of the game. Good for you!<br /><br />7) It <b>IS</b> validating to connect with fellow patients who "get it"! <br /><br />8) I think the "shrinking-world" syndrome you touched on is simply interacting with people who "get it", try to, or are "mandatory contacts"... such as relatives who may not "get it" but are still in our lives. Subtracting time spent with people who don't care, don't try to "get it", or don't "believe" we're sick... That's called self-preservation.<br /><br />9) Acceptance is a great thing. I don't see you as "giving up" by a long stretch.<br /><br />10) Having your blog to express your feelings is healthy!<br /><br />11) When people say, "how are you?" to me, I have a specific answer that works like a charm. I will not lie. I will not say I'm fine if I'm in agony. I also will not detail my agony to someone who could care less. So my response is, "I'm hanging in there". It works like a charm. No awkward pause. No hurriedly switching subjects. If I say, "I'm hanging in there"... the other person will move on to another topic 99% of the time. It's one of my favorite phrases now! :)<br /><br />12) I'm not stoic either.<br /><br />13) I cannot BELIEVE they told your then-boyfriend-now-husband that! That is shameful!<br /><br />14) Having had a botched surgery of my own, I sympathize w/you.<br /><br />15) Plenty of studies show how helpful it is to talk with others who are supportive.<br /><br />16) Whether you call it whining, venting, complaining, or something else... it's your blog and anyone who doesn't like it can easily just choose not to read it!<br /><br />17) You have a wonderful, helpful attitude regarding supporting others.<br /><br />(Sorry. Need to split comment due to Blogger character limit. Part 2 coming right up).<br /><br />Stay tuned...Jeannehttp://chronichealing.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-75400177172853858842009-08-06T14:22:00.062-07:002009-08-06T14:22:00.062-07:00Good riddance to bad readers!
xox Your sister
(w...Good riddance to bad readers!<br /><br />xox Your sister <br />(who winces when she reads but accepts that she is reading of her own free will and desire to know what is going on without making you repeat every detail for the nth time)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-74752491551138598082009-08-06T13:57:15.562-07:002009-08-06T13:57:15.562-07:00good riddancegood riddanceDonn Christiansonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04265903775692067280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3749687802138692392.post-25554067465151318872009-08-06T13:54:33.949-07:002009-08-06T13:54:33.949-07:00First time visitor to your blog -- saw you on Barb...First time visitor to your blog -- saw you on Barbara's In Sickness and in Health blog comments. I enjoyed this post and am looking forward to reading more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com