Trying Not To Worry

I keep thinking tomorrow is "the big day" because I'll see the hemotologist and discuss those scary test results that showed the monoclonal immunoglobulins.

In my fantasy, we'll be able to resolve it all tomorrow and I won't have this scary possible diagnosis hanging over my head any longer.

In reality, I know it's going to take weeks if not a couple months before I get a definitive answer. I'm sure there will be blood tests and possible x-rays and/or a MRI followed by the bone marrow biopsy, which I've been dreading.

Meanwhile, Ellie got sick Sunday night and threw up at least four times, so even though she seemed better in the morning, she couldn't go to daycare until she'd been "vomit-free" for 24 hours. I felt like such a bad mom because I spent all morning and part of the afternoon hiding in my bedroom because I was in so much pain that I needed quiet time.

Adding to my problem was that I couldn't take pain medication in the morning because I had a doctor's appointment in midafternoon and I needed to be able to drive myself there safely. I feel strongly about not driving when I've taken narcotic pain relievers -- I think it's as bad as driving after a few drinks, which I also don't do.

On a positive note, I liked the psychologist I met with yesterday. She was a good mix of being a sympathetic listener and wanting to help me set some goals.

And she understood my desire to blog, unlike the first therapist I saw, and said she thought it was wonderful that I'd found this outlet.

More waiting ...