Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Humor For The Undiagnosed

Found floating on the Internet in various places, author brilliant but unknown:

Epidemic of Mental Illness in Doctors
The emergence of Medically Unexplained Illnesses has revealed an epidemic of behavioral problems and personality disorders in doctors.

Patients expressing unfamiliar complaints to their physicians often induce the "It's All In Your Head" (AIYH) or the "That's Impossible" response in doctors suffering from these behavioral problems and personality disorders. 

Physicians fixated upon the metaphysical belief system of "If we don't know about it, then it doesn't exist" are suffering from a mental defect or psychological condition known as "Doctors with Unexplained Medical Beliefs": D.U.M.B. 

DUMB doctors are comprised of subgroups characterized by opportunists who are feigning to be DUMB for monetary gain: "Medicalingering" or of those doctors who are not in possession of sufficient information to render an intelligent diagnosis: "Factlessitious Disorder". 

Physicians who are suffering from DUMB disorder place an inordinate emphasis on theories of psychological causality for virtually any unfamiliar complaints that are presented, and manifest a distinctive lack of observational skills when confronted with obvious abnormalities. 

Doctors who exhibit obsessive preoccupation with psychosocial etiologies should be regarded with extreme caution: "Psychosomatization Fixation Disorder" or "Psychologizing" is a distinctive characteristic of mental illness, and should be considered a warning sign that the individual is not rational and may in fact be dangerously DUMB.

DUMB disorder may be concomitant but should not be confused with Signs of Thoroughly Unmistakable Physician Intelligence Deficiency: "S.T.U.P.I.D.", as a STUPID physician is uniformly incompetent, while a DUMB doctor is only mentally paralyzed into "psychologizing" by unfamiliar symptoms and complaints. 

An immediate investigation is warranted to assess the prevalence of DUMB and STUPID doctors, and to determine the detrimental impact that physicians suffering from these mental defects are having on their patients and the health care system.


p1nkg0dess said...


Anonymous said...


Wanted to follow up with a comment you left at :

For me, personally, I handle an email better. Like you said, this allows processing time. And yes, a follow up phone call is a great idea. You are so thoughtful. I wish my family was as thoughtful as you!

Lisa said...

: - )

Jeanne said...


How funny! :)

There certainly is no shortage of doctors who want to chalk valid physical illnesses up to completely psychological causes... rather than address the very real physical illnesses that they don't understand or choose not to understand!