Thursday, February 17, 2011

Please Don't Tell Me I Glow!*

I know people mean well when they tell me how good I look and that it must mean I'm feeling better. 

But really, are so few people familiar with the concept of an invisible chronic illness? 

You know it's bad when I was happy for my internist to greet me today with, "You look awful -- you're pale, you have dark circles under your eyes, you look exhausted!" 

My reply? "Good! I'm glad I look as crappy as I feel!"

I told her about the glucose tolerance test, and she said my incredibly low result means I have functional hypoglycemia. Which doesn't really mean much because I've been diagnosed with hypoglycemia on and off since college. I already know that I need to eat frequent smaller meals and always have extra (healthy) snack food around for those times I'm unexpectedly long between meals. 

Meanwhile, I have an EMG (nerve conduction test) with the new neurologist on Friday in the continuing effort to figure out the cause of my weird sensory issues. 

*I went to a kid birthday party on Saturday and a mom I hadn't seen since last June told me I was glowing. I wanted to (but didn't) tell her that the last time someone told me I was glowing was when I got contaminated at the Hanford nuclear reservation in the mid-90s. (Which actually did happen, although they called it "crapped up" rather than contaminated.)



WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

That's a true inner glow when its from radioactive contamination!!!

It is bad when people say you look as bad as you feel and you are happy to hear it!!!

Good luck with your EMG!

Queen of Optimism said...

Seems like your docs are getting more serious about looking for causes and how everything fits in and affects each other. Isn't it possible that the hypoglycemia could play a bigger role in some of your symptoms? I'm developing my own theory that some of these things our docs brush off may link to other things.

What body parts are they checking with the EMG?

Perhaps because I limp and have obvious physical problems, I enjoy the looking good comments - I reply - I work very hard at it. :)

Thinking of you lots!

Aviva said...

WNPP: :-)

QofO: I think the grass is often greener. There are lots of times that I'm grateful that my health issues don't show on the outside (except maybe in my eyes ...). And most of the time, when people say I look so good I must be feeling better, I just say thank you. And smile. But it feels sometimes like it's downplaying how I feel, and like I'm malingering to complain or something.

Aviva said...

QofO: And yeah, certainly hypoglycemia could contribute to a bunch of my symptoms, especially the fatigue and brain fog. I'm supposed to go see a new endocrinologist about my vitamin D deficiency, so I guess I'll talk to him about that too ...

Penelope said...

I can so related to the feeling! It seems every time I see my Program Advisor, she tells me how good I'm looking, and that I must be feeling better...And I'm thinking,'NO!!!!!!'

Hypoglycemia has been an ongoing issue with me for years. I have to eat small meals many times a day. I have noticed my glucose has been more stable the past month. Maybe the gluten-free thing is helping?

I'm really envious. I wish my doctors were looking into my symptoms.

Good luck with your test, (it sounds a little scary).