I clearly have a problem.
No, it's not my mystery illness, although it has a multiplier effect on the seriousness of my problem.
But I just don't know my limits. And because I don't know them, I don't just nudge them occasionally, I blow right past them.
So I knew Thursday would wipe me out. So on Wednesday, I emailed the other women on my MOMS Club chapter's board and asked if they'd mind coming to my less-than-pristine house for the meeting on Friday. Otherwise, I said, I didn't think I'd be able to make it.
So I survived Thursday, although it felt like just barely. And I was not a happy camper when my alarm went off at 9:30 a.m. on Friday, but at least I could stay in my jammies and didn't have to go anywhere. And I could go back to bed after our meeting, which started at 10:30 a.m., right?
The meeting went well, and we had a good discussion and voted on Important Business. At the end of the meeting, I had some action points that were my responsibility, so I sat down with my computer to do them right away. And of course, I got distracted.
After I took care of MOMS Club business, I decided to watch the second half of Revolutionary Road that I'd started a couple days ago. (Can I just say that I thought I knew the ending to the movie, but I didn't and was totally surprised by it.) When the movie ended, I got online to express my amazement on Facebook about the ending. And of course, once I was on Facebook, I was sucked in and started reading what all my friends were up to.
And luckily, one of them commented about how happy she was that it was Friday night and she had a glass of wine in hand. A glass of wine sounded really appealing, and I thought, "Hm, maybe I'll see if Scott wants to open a bottle of wine tonight for dinner."
Then: "Dinner!!!!!! Aaaack!"
You see, during my out-of-body (or at least out-of-mind) time at the preschool on Thursday, we invited one of Ellie's teacher over for dinner.
For Friday night.
For beef stew.
And beef stew, of course, is one of those dinners that's fairly easy to make (which is why it's in my limited repertoire) but requires a lot of time to cook.
Ideally, I would have started it around 2 p.m., but I didn't see that friend's mention of wine until just before 4 p.m., which really is cutting it close for a 6 p.m. dinner. I suspect the carrots will still be crunchy when we serve dinner ...
But the worst part is I'm totally done in already, before our guest even arrives. Before Scott and Ellie are home, even.
What was I thinking?
Scott even tried to stop me when I suggested Friday night for dinner. He touched my arm and said, "Really? Are you sure?"
But I was all in social mode (i.e. hiding how I feel, even from myself), and I was like, yeah, no problem, no big deal. It's just beef stew, after all.
There's gotta be a 12-step program out there somewhere for people who over-commit themselves, ideally with a special chapter for those of us with debilitating chronic illnesses who still over commit.
9 months ago