Friday, November 9, 2007

Secrets of Adulthood

I found this at The Happiness Project. I'm not 100 percent clear whether this was originally written by Gretchen Rubin, or whether she found it somewhere else and didn't credit it on her website. (I'm assuming, as a writer, she would have credited it if it were written by someone else, but you just never know. And it's also possible there was a credit there that I missed too.)

Anyway, I thought it was brilliant, and well worth sharing (with a little commentary, of course. :)

Secrets of Adulthood

People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think. (I didn't really learn this one until I started quilting. My mistakes just jump out at me, but until I point them out to non-quilters, they almost never notice them!)

It’s easier to prevent pain than to squelch it. (This one hit home with my two shoulder surgeries in the late 1990s. The first surgeon let my pain get out of control at the start and we never did get it reined in. The second surgeon, Dr. Richard Kirby of Seattle, got my pain under control from the start and it never got as bad as the first round and I healed much better and faster.)

Where you start makes a big difference in where you end up.

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. (Flylady taught me this one!)

It's nice to have plenty of money. (Money may not buy happiness, but it sure can make it easier to avoid a lot of unhappiness.)

Most decisions don't require extensive research. (Take it from someone who over-researches just about everything. Your gut reaction is almost always the right decision.)

If you want to talk to someone, stand next to that person while he/she finishes another conversation; in time that person will turn to speak to you. (I think it also helps to put yourself in that person's field of vision. If you're next to them and they don't see you, they may turn in another direction when the first conversation is over.)

Try not to let yourself get too hungry. (Boy is this one true! And for many people, this means eating something small but nutritious every 2-3 hours and not just at 2 or 3 big meals a day.)

Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day. (But celebrating them doesn't have to mean spending money. Gifts and cards and meals in restaurants shouldn't be required to show your appreciation.)

If you can't find something, clean up. (This almost always works! And even if it doesn't, at least your home is neater!)

The days are long, but the years are short. (Boy, this really became true for me once Ellie was born. It seems like I just blinked and she went from being a newborn to being a preschooler!)

Someplace, keep an empty shelf. (Yeah, well, I haven't mastered this one and I'm not entirely sure why it's a good idea, except it means you don't have to give away books when you buy more ...)

Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch. (I still don't understand why this is true, but it almost always works. At least on Microsoft operating systems. My MAC-user friends don't seem to have this issue nearly as often.)

It's okay to ask for help. (And even when you don't think anyone will help you, it's amazing the people who come out of the woodwork of your life to help you out when you really need it. This illness has taught me that more than anything else!)

You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do. (And sometimes what you like to do changes over time, so something you once loved becomes uninteresting while you find new interests or hobbies that become your passions.)

Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy. (I'm still pondering this one ...)

What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.

You don't have to be good at everything. (I still have trouble accepting this one in some respects.)

Soap and water removes most stains. (But sometimes it takes a lot of soap.)

It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.

You know as much as most people.

Over-the-counter medicines are very effective. (Sometimes true, but not always for me.)

Eat better, eat less, exercise more. (I know this one is very true, but I have trouble putting it into practice. And more so now that I'm so inactive from this illness.)

What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa. (And it's perfectly OK for your life partner to enjoy things you don't and vice versa and still be your soul mate. Time alone to pursue one's hobbies and interests helps keep a marriage/relationship strong. You don't have to do everything together.)

People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry. (Boy, I didn't learn that one until I got married myself. Some of the off-the-registry gifts were lovely, but some were just so weird and not us that they ended up at Goodwill!)

Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble. (I sure wish someone had told me this before I learned it on my own!)

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. (Always set your goals higher than you imagine you can possibly reach. You won't reach the goal, but you'll get farther than if you'd set a more easily reachable goal. It sounds like a truism, but I learned this one very young and it's always been true for me.)

No deposit, no return. (If you don't invest yourself in something, you're not likely to get anything out of it.)

Now go check out The Happiness Project for yourself. Lots worth reading there! (And many thanks to Amy D. for telling me about it !)

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