Thursday, November 27, 2008

Remembering To Be Thankful

I've spent a big chunk of today having a little pity party for myself.

You see, once again, fate has shown me that I shouldn't bother to make plans because they just don't seem to ever come true.

It could be a lot worse, and I'm grateful that it isn't. But it's just hard sometimes.

My husband and I decided that four days of family time would probably be too much for me, so I was juggling orphan invitations for Thanksgiving dinner (I have generous friends) and sending him and Ellie off to spend the holiday with the grandparents.

I walked them out the to minivan, and strapped Ellie into her seat for the first time in forever. There's a DVD player in the van, and I went to walk around the back of the van to insert Tinkerbell for Ellie.

And then I fell. I was wearing fuzzy slippers, not shoes with decent treads, and the driveway was just a little bit slick.

I screamed so loud that I was surprised no neighbors came out to see what was going on. My right leg twisted and bent underneath me as I fell.

I was afraid I broke something. I could barely wiggle my toes. The slightest movement sent massive shooting pains between my knee (which had all the skin scraped off it) and my toes.

So, new plan. We called Scott's parents to warn them things might change, and headed to the ER.

Thanksgiving morning is a good time to go the ER. Apparently, they get busy late in the day and on the day after Thanksgiving. But there was no one there when we arrived around 9:30 a.m.

So, we went through the usual routine. X-rays, cleaning my wounded knee, bandages at the knee and ankle. Nothing broken, at least not in my ankle where the bulk of my pain was.

But I still couldn't put any weight on it, so we made a couple stops on the way home to find some crutches we could rent/borrow.

Scott got me settled in my recliner, a pillow under my bad leg, made me lunch and then, in the exuberance of my pain meds, I assured him that he and Ellie should go on their road trip -- I'd be fine.

Somehow, I hadn't realized that, if you need crutches, it's really hard to carry anything, like food or drinks, or to bend over to pick things off the floor.

Meanwhile, every time I move, it seems to start my knee bleeding again. I'd like to change the dressing, but while I could get it off, I don't think I could put a new one on. I can't seem to contort much due to pain and stiffness.


I had plans. I had things I hoped to get done, things that would (pleasantly) surprise Scott if I accomplished them.

And now? Well, I'm frustrated beyond belief. My pain levels are way up because, of course, in addition to injuring my leg, I caught myself with my hand so my wrist hurts and I wrenched my neck when I twisted as I fell. And my stomach hurts, for reasons I don't know. Possibly just because I'm upset. I've had a "nervous stomach" since early childhood (although I've read recently that's almost universal in girls -- why don't young boys have as many stress-related stomach aches as girls??)

But it's Thanksgiving, and it's time to try to be thankful.
  • I'm thankful for my husband and daughter, and the rest of our families.
  • I'm grateful that unlike many people in America -- even many with health insurance -- my medical crises and expenses haven't thrown my family into bankruptcy or poverty.
  • I'm thankful for the online support I have found since I began blogging, and the local support I have received from old friends and new.
  • I'm thankful that despite tough economic times, my family is still able to thrive.
  • I'm thankful that there will soon be a new administration in the White House.
OK, I know there's plenty more to be thankful for in my life, but that's all that springs to mind at the moment, when I'm tired and hurting.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

1 comment:

Sherril said...

Oh, Aviva, I'm crying for the frustration of it all! Don't worry, I still cry over everything and nothing; hopefully that will get better as my thyroid gets regulated. My thoughts and prayers are with you.